Fallen - Lauren Kate THE HORROR! THE HORROR!!! Did I really just read this book? Ugh! I am so upset! Mostly because I had… semi-high… no… that’s a lie. I actually had a feeling this book was going to blow. BUT!!! That didn’t mean I didn’t have at least a bit of hope. I decided to pick up this book because so many people were raving on how amazing it was and considering my experiences with fallen angels are limited, I thought it would be good to try it out. Plus, look at that cover! Isn’t that the most gorgeous cover you’ve ever seen? The feel of it is nice, too! Unfortunately, the contents contained within leaves you feeling empty, stricken, and defiled! (What? How many times must I say it? I like being over-dramatic!) It was way too similar to Toilet, had crappy characters, and had inconsistencies all over the place! >_< The brain is not happy. Not happy at all. Oh, and before I continue with this review any further, I would like to warn you that this review will be a bit vulgar and slightly offensive because I just simply hate books that throws a whole bunch of crap together and tries to pass itself off as a novel. -_-”

Lauren Kate did a pretty good job at writing the book. I did enjoy her style of writing. What I don’t like is her ability to tell a story… or lack thereof. The entire book was mostly rambling. Things were being repeated left and right, the plot never truly thickens, and nothing was revealed. A shame really because I was mostly intrigued with the “shadows.” I really wanted to learn more about them and their true purpose. But no. You don’t get to learn anything about them aside from their name. I assume that it reveals more of it in Torment but seeing as how poorly this book was written, I don’t think I will pick that book up. I tend to stay away from series if the first one didn’t hold my interest. Not to mention Kate took the lazy way out on a lot of the story. Not explaining things, killing off characters, and turning cool people against each other. She couldn’t work a little harder and actually explain things to satisfy readers enough to be intrigued in picking up the second book? No. No, she couldn’t. Oh, and did I mention the similarities to another book? Yeah, what the hell was up with that? Normally, I don’t like bringing up other books in my reviews (especially ones I have nothing nice to say about) but this was just eerily close and it makes me want to hurl. Too many YA paranormal romances are like this nowadays and it has to STOP! I should really not read from this genre anymore… it’s too painful to get through. *Twitch* This was a cheesy romance that makes you want to gag. I blame it on the characters…

Luce, our main protagonist, was a stupid, obsessed, shallow, biggest-bullshitter-I-have-ever-met, schoolgirl who has a “dark” past. Daniel is her love interest. He’s a dick. End of story. He wasn’t amazing at all. Luce lusted after him for 99% of the book and stalked him for 397% of the book. It was very sad. At first, I was okay with Luce being instantly attracted to him because I knew she knew him from a previous life (if you didn’t figure that one out from reading the synopsis then… I pity you) but after reading the whole thing AND NOT SEEING ANY PREMISE TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP, I thought that Luce was just being pathetic. Why like a guy that treats you like shit? It’s just stupid and belittling yourself to a prick that doesn’t deserve you. GROW A BACKBONE YOU WEAKASS BITCH! What I don’t get is why Kate felt the need to drag out their relationship. The reader knows they are going to end up together from reading the synopsis. There was no need to make it as long, dull, and boring as Kate made it to be. The book should have been shorter, that way not a lot of repetition would have happened. I’m not even kidding. There were chapters that were literally copied from previous ones just with slightly different words. I had to check multiple times to make sure I didn’t flip back a page; it felt that similar! Ugh, and I thought my middle school essays on what I wanted to be when I grew up were bad… this was pure torture! And if you think the side characters will help save this book, well, you might want to go grab a cookie and play a good RPG to get your mind off that train of thought!

The side characters were no better. There’s Arriane, some “badass” chick at Sword & Cross (by the way, isn’t that the most stupid name for a school you have ever heard of?), who wasn’t that bad to be totally honest with you. I liked her attitude towards things. The down side to her: she could get annoying pretty quickly. She had a way of being a good friend one moment, then a total bitch the next. Another thing that pissed me off about her, she was totally obvious! The reader knows what’s her role in the story way before the quarter mark of the book. Gabbe was annoying as hell. She’s just an attention whore. She was also completely obvious. Then there was Roland. Obvious. Molly. Obvious. Everything was obvious!!! One thing I hate about books is when all of the elements to it are fucking predictable! I mean everything! You can guess, literally guess, what was going to be happening next and you would be totally right. Speaking of, Cam. What. The. Fuck. He might as well put on a shirt and scream he’s a fallen angel who’s on the dark side. (What? That’s not a spoiler! It’s predictable! I figured that one out on chapter four!) He annoyed me. I can’t stand guys who try to come off as charming. They just look like douches to me. There was one character that I did kind of enjoy. Miss Sophia. She’s the librarian at the school and the only character that didn’t get on my nerves. She had an atmosphere to her that made me think, “Hey! You’re smart! I like you!” In fact, something with her happens at the end that I didn’t really expect (shocking, right?) and I love her all the more for it. I wish she succeeded, though… (I will not explain what I mean but for those of you who read it, being fans of the series or not, know that I really wish she was able to succeed. *Sighs*)

Okay… my IQ can’t possible go any lower. I was very disappointed in this book. I was hoping to like it just because there are a lot of people who love this book. But, once again, I’m in the minority. I just could not get into this book. I love the idea of the “shadows” but even that fell flat for me. Luce is one of the biggest dumbasses in YA history and Daniel… let’s face it, he’s a wimp compared to other characters in books. Ack! Why did the story drag out for so long!? It was so dull! There were times I had to try to stay awake! It was horrible! The only reason it’s getting a two out of five is because I was interested in finding out about those “shadows.”

EDIT:Okay... after thinking about this for a long time, I am going to give this book a one. It just sucks purple monkey balls so much that giving it anything higher than a one would be insulting to my intelligence and the intelligence of others.

This book was really painful to get through. めんどくさい!!! (That means “pain in the ass” for my non-Japanese folk.) Considering that this book went really bad for me, and I heard that Torment is basically the same book just at a different school with different named characters, I’m just going to pass on the rest of this series. It’s not worth it and I don’t want to keep bad-mouthing it. Kate, you have potential. Just improve on your story-telling abilities and then we’ll talk. But, my lovely readers, don’t lose hope just because I didn’t like it. This sort of story is “in” now so you might like it. I don’t see how you can but hey, I’m an ass that way. Try it out. See for yourself. And pray you don’t lose more brain cells than I have. DX